God never gives us more than we can handle. Isn’t that what people like to say when they see us with our head barely above water? Well, I call bullshit. If that were true, then it would mean that God was somehow behind all the crap that comes our way in life. Is God behind the abuse of children? Is he behind domestic abuse of women? Is there a cosmic plan to make people go broke and lose their homes? Or lose their job, or spouse? Or lose one’s child?
I think not. And it’s not another swell learning opportunity either. It’s just plain old crap and there’s plenty of it to go around. When we are down it seems like nobody has it worse or can possibly understand our pain. “I’ve got it worse than you.” “You don’t know what I’ve lived through.” “If only things were different.” ”If that hadn’t happened, things would be fine.”
Hmm, got bad news for you. Life’s trials affect everybody including the rich and famous. Nobody gets a pass. Others may not have had the same things happen to them that you have, but they have lousy things happen to them too.
So how is it that some people seem to do just hunky dory and my life sucks? Did God screw up and give me just a little too much? Ever hear of Job? Just when things look like they are getting better more crap rolls in, like fog at the coast. After enough times of this happening, quitting begins to sound like an appealing alternative. I’m done! I’m tired and it’s just not worth it. You win God; I’m not playing anymore.
Since I’ve been working on my personal healing I’ve had some new thoughts and attitudes about pain and recovery. I find that if I don’t believe in anything then I get stuck in that hole with nothing but my misery to keep me company. God ain’t the one pushing me in a hole. And she won’t reach down and just pull me out either. If I don’t believe my life will get better, then I guarantee you it won’t.
I have to believe in something, anything beyond my own person. I need faith. Faith can lead me anywhere. It replaces despair with hope. It allows me to imagine a better world; a world where I don’t hurt as much; a world where I am loved; a world where it feels good to get up in the morning and greet a new day. Faith and hope give me the strength I need to climb out of that hole.
Amazing things begin to happen when I get my head above ground. I see there is more to the world than my misery and that allows me to focus and put energy into living solutions. Gradually I feel better and my life starts to work again. I know there will be more holes in life and I can guarantee you I will fall in some of them. But hopefully each time it gets a little easier to remember how to get out. Believe in a power bigger than yourself. Have faith that power can help support you emotionally and give you strength. And always believe that miracles are a possibility.
No matter what has happened in your life or mine, nobody conspired to put us in that hole. As Molly Ivins used to say, “remember the rule of holes: when you find yourself in one, quit digging.” Find a ladder and start climbing, one step at a time.